the debate

while watching the debate i just wanted obama to look at mccain and call him a liar. just clean cut, point plank, "you are a liar."

that's all he did was twist words and lie about something spoken by someone 10 feet from him. every time obama spoke mccain would just take it, twist the words and puke.

obama showed great restraint and was able to stay strong on topics. mccain continually retreated to war stories about being stationed around the world as if just being there meant he was worldly.

AR - with pylons?

so let's do AR all over again, with pylons and python fun.

saving this spot for notes.

movies and music can make you feel too good

sometimes you have to be consciously aware of how media makes you feel. its great to let yourself go and feel a part of a wonderful moment in a movie or music, but dont let it take away from your life.

it's tricky, movies are great at making people believe that life is made up of big moments and the only way you'll ever be looked up to or be capable of redeeming yourself is through these big dramatic moments that never seem to come in real life. don't live your life waiting for these moments because life is about every moment of every day.

moving to the NY

so people dont even know about this site really, not anyone i know anyways... so its kind of nice to just come spit out stuff. the move was crazy, florida to new york with a moving truck - two kids - a cat - a trailer and my wife driving another car. it took a good 30 hours with a night in a hotel.

now we are here and it is great, but i find myself sad sometimes. ive never really committed myself to anything whole hearted. maybe for a few hours, a month or a year but not my whole life. ive moved so many times in my life i cant take the time to count them all, i think i went to 14 different schools growing up. i was talking about this last night in how the longest id ever stayed at a school was for three years, and those were not even consecutively.

they always say know your audience when writing something, well i dont know who you are, im not even sure if im writing this for me or for someone else to find. all i know is my arms hurt at this dutch modern 1960s dining cabinet hutch thing that was never in any way meant to be a computer desk for a macbook that no longer holds a charge so i have to plug it into the wall and sit here in an uncomfortable brown leather dark wood armchair. i love that my wife picks these lovely pieces of furniture, and i think we share similar tastes but since ive grown older i must say i seem to be favoring the practical, functional, usable not so lovely looking items like a herman miller ergo chair with a mesh back and an adjustable tilting high back support. sometimes i want to go to mitchell gold, walk in and point to something sexy and not concern myself with the details. id like to take a trip to italy and visit one of the lesser known regions like Umbria and find a furniture shop where a man and his family have been working for generations and making things out of olive wood. not for the mere exclusiveness of it, but just to have something that suites me. something so unique that i cherish it. 

ok, so i got off track and im just thinking about so many random things. like the other day i did a 10 minute stand-up comedy act in my head and was laughing about it. i used to keep a voice recorder in my car because i have so many thoughts and ideas and nobody seems to listen so i just talk and record. ive never listened to any of them but at least i got them out there. i used to have a real hang up about telling people my ideas because i thought they would make money off them, or just not get it. and im not looking for admiration necessarily but i do enjoy it. another reason im not up to talk about them is that i really dont want an engaging conversation about it, ive already had that by myself by the time ive brought it up verbally and i just want someone to listen to my well thought out ideas and plans and actually listen with some genuine concern or at least undivided attention. saying 'uh huh' and 'oh ya' after every word or sentence i say does not qualify as listening, that is interrupting and i find it rude. if you are listening to me with intent then im already aware of your focus without needing it to be verbalized.

having little kids rule your life can drive you nutts sometimes. i wake up to someone telling me the alarm clock went off 15 minutes ago and that they are late and need help, yea im lazy, ill admit. i get up, i do things if i see im needed, otherwise id rather just be left alone. what happened to just waking up and going to work. i used to just wake up, change my shirt and walk out the door. if i didnt eat, i didnt eat. if i wore my pants the last three days so what. it took me 15 minutes total and i was there at work, working. now i wake up and do who knows what to get the day going, i try to fit in where i can but a lot of times i dont see my place. but i get it done, i get what im told to get done done. but thats not enough because i need to want to do what im told to do before im told to do it, but thats not it. i need to want to do it and do it but not talk about it or act like im bothered by it or bring it up in any way including an eye movement gesture or other acknowledging shift of the universe such as this post. but that's not it either and i just dont get it.

this spellchecker sucks. i clicked the red underline, nothing happend, i ctrl+clicked and nothing. i apple+clicked and nothing.

always thought id be a comedian growing up, but my dad told me to shut up ad yelled at me. said things to belittle me and called my talents superfluous. my mom loved my humor, but she never stood up to my father. i saw him hit her in the car once while i was in the back seat and she cried, then it was time for me to get out and go to school. i was 5. not a day went by that i didnt think about that. i hope i havent done anything like that to my kids already. it is so hard to maintain mental and physical composure every minute of everyday when you feel anger and hate and frustration. mostly frustration. now that im older i understand, but is it really forgivable, i mean is it? im not saying i place blame for who i have become in my father, i am this way from my choices in life and my attitude. im aware of what is wrong and sometimes i choose to do it just the same. im working on it, im growing and moving forward.

id like to take a video of my drive home from work, i take this lovely road at the waters edge and the time change puts me right by the lake when the sun is setting. not that, its the drive itself, the road and the trees. id play this firehose song that i love, i love them all. it's an acoustic tune and it fits right in. id do many different recordings and mix it all later. i want to try a split screen after going under the bridge, showing the trees, the road and any people on the walkway below. i'd leave out the dam which comes up afterwards, there are quite a few and i can't say they are the most attractive things, though it is an amazing feat to think about. or not.

i live in new york now, but i always imagined myself in another life, in another way of living outside of this all. watching the future come to pass and just having a light finger on it once in a while sort of like dipping your hand in the water while on a boat and staring out into nothing but the moment. ill cry from time to time, not for me being here or not being able to be there but knowing that i've brought others here to this world when i was never sure this is where i should be. i do believe in god and believe we are all a part of it, the universe is god and thus we are too.

hmm, maybe i should write more often like i used to in high school. id write poems and short stories all the time. but once i gave it away to someone who didnt care and it broke my rhythm. now im a bit sloppy i suppose, but we'll see. im just going to sit here for a bit more and decide whether or not it is indecent for me to stay up later than my neighbors in this quite community, perhaps i am the strange one after all.

LDAP Site

So I've had myself quite an adventure in learning Pylons. I love it, truely, though it can be a bit daunting to grasp the concepts required. There are plenty of great reads to put things into perspective but I am not proclaiming web development fame by any means. Javascript, AJAX, rails, etc have cultures of their own so expertise is not needed but some knowlege is required. Thankfully there is WebHelpers.

What is this post all about? OpenLDAP, Pylons, AuthKit and putting them all together in what I think is a useful little web app that allows people to share files within groups. Authorization with AuthKit handles a lot of the underlying mechanisms, but piecing it together is not for the feint of heart. I would like to revise the code as I've learned how to implement decorators, though everything works as is but using decorators would reduce the lines of code used.

One of the things to do is returning paginated results and allowing actions on those results. Lists of users to delete, rename, modify their groups, etc. Probably going to handle this with a check mark based input with columns.

If you would like to check out some screenshots of this site in action I've uploaded some on flickr. This is my first major project written entirely in Python. I have used Python for many apps and scripts but this was much more involved. I'm not posting any code just yet, though I plan to create an egg to add to cheeseshop once I iron out some of the before mentioned items.